Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Does she hold you down or slow you up?

Sisters get respect, bitches get what they deserve/Sisters work hard, bitches work ya nerves…”-Jigga Man.

            So I’m listening to Bitches & Sisters when this blog hit me. I’ve been in and witnessed heaux ran relationships. Straight up sprung off of a heaux. So hopefully this blog will help all my fellas that are blind in the heaux matrix to open their eyes, yo. I want you to step outside of your relationship and have an “outside looking in” perspective of your relationship.

            If she’s not helping you progress then she’s causing you stress. Ya queen should be ya cheerleader, not an opponent. Just keep that in mind, fam. The blatant disrespect that us men put up with, is some sh*t out of a science fiction novel. It seems like guys are too shook to let their nuts hang and set their queen straight. Women want a MAN, why do you think all these fake lesbians are laid up under a Waka Flacka Flame look alike in some Air Jordan fusions? Cause that dread head heaux is more of a man than your sensitive ass, fam.

            Do you have to baby sit ya queen because she X’s out of twitter or Facebook when you’re near her? Leave that heaux, but take that Acer Netbook you bought her for yawl’s 2week anniversary.  I can bet her DM’s are filthy on twitter. Her messages on Facebook probably consist of when the next local rapper can run a train with his crew in YOUR twin bed. She ain’t worth the stress, got you poppin blood pressure pills cause she put on her Jordan heels and jersey dress.

            I made the mistake of dating a chick who had “nothing but male friends because she didn’t get along with females.” My dumbass was like oh that’s cool she’s like one of the guys. This heaux would ditch me to play video games with niggas. Me, being naïve was like aw ok that’s whats up. Maaaaaan, this heaux was slapping skins with old jitney driver looking ass niggas. Bruh…fam…dawg…nigga. Most disrespectful sh*t I have ever endured. And the reason she didn’t have female friends…chicks couldn’t trust her around their men. So fellas, ALWAYS be cautious around the heaux that has nothing but male friends. Even if she isn’t giving up the nappy dugout, all of her straight male friends just waiting for you to f*ck up and hope that she’s so emotional distraught that she will tell one of them to dive deep. Niggas is savages, yo.

            If ya queen is checking for ya friends…leave bruh bruh. If she insists on answering the door in boy shorts and a spaghetti strap tee with no bra while you’re in the bathroom battling ya bowels…leave her. Any respectable woman will put on a robe at least and inform her king if his friends come at her sideways and check him. She shouldn’t be texting ya boys either without your knowledge. And if ya queen got numerous dick pix in her phone that ain’t yours…she’s gone. She bussin it open on facetime and skype for some nigga who rocks Arab middle of the mall jewelry, my condolences.

            Then you got the nightclub heaux. She’s always out with her girls and leaving you stuck at home with an empty stomach and wallet. Comrade, its ok for her to have a girls night out but if its every night…check her. You keep ignoring her girls night out and 9months later SIMILAAAAAAAAC *in my TUUUUUUU CHAINZ voice. Don’t be that “crying ass, no matter what, Maury I’m taking care of that baby even if it’s not mine” nigga.  But also don’t be that “emo ass Joe Budden Ordinary Love Shit I’m beefing with my girl, Flex, drop a bomb on her” nigga. Let her fly, she don’t want a stable life, she still in the mode of figuring out what she wants and needs to experience life SINGLE.

            Now you’re asking, “A.B. what is a good woman?” Well, pleighboi, (hits Birdman hand rub) a good woman has a few key characteristics:  Independent (Webbie voice is in my head word to Rocsi) she makes her own $$$, doesn’t need to be babysat, and is self-sufficient to a point (guys love to come in and save the day).  You don’t need a woman who seems to fall to pieces whenever you’re not around. It’s nice for her to miss you though. Sexual, I don’t know about y’all, but there is nothing like a woman who is comfortable in her sexuality. She likes to be pleased and she likes to please. Attraction is key: whenever you see her, you want to jump on her, whether at home or at Best Buy in the home theatre section. Beauty, she damn well should hold your attention, I mean, we men are visual creatures. BUT most importantly she is comfortable in her own skin and takes pride in her appearance for herself. If you are lucky enough to find a woman like that, let her know how you appreciate how hard she works to look good, yo.

            Respectful, she respects you, your career, your family, and most importantly herself. She doesn’t clown you in front of your people, she waits until it’s just the two of you. To gain her respect you need to be on point and don’t have “New Nigga” characteristics. “What’s a ‘new nigga’ A.B.?” (peep my previous Blog: Bitch Made). She lets you be a man, I ain’t talking about lampin around the house smelling like onions and old bus seats, I’m talking about letting you have ya boys over to watch The Spurs run all over the Western Conference! And she’s only interrupting to see if you’re doing ok on drinks and snacks. This is a two way street, you gotta fund her shopping sprees with her besties or leave her the hell alone if its girls night at the palace. Remember if her besties are men, you let that heaux  fend for herself, fam.  She gets along with fam and friends, so important and self-explanatory.

            She loves you, no question about it, she loves you for you. She’s able to tolerate your bad habits like farting in public no matter if it’s a smoke grenade or operation devastator. The way she looks at you lets you know how much she loves you.

            Most important (well tied with she loves you), She makes you want to be a better man. I don’t know if you have ever had “I do this for her” feeling. It’s like GOD put a battery in a back and you can’t fail or the equivalent of getting a Mario Star running around the planet feeling invincible. It’ll have you doing things you never thought you could accomplish. It’s a beautiful thing, yo.

            In conclusion, if she is causing you heartache as well as a headache, leave. Now if the headache consists of her nagging cause you’re working part time, hollering at heauxs on twitter, and living that PS3 life, she has a right to nag.  Don’t question ya queen and reference my blog if you are out here being the walking version of Nick Cannons’ platinum hit “Gigolo”.  And remember:  get that wild child out ya system before you start a relationship, crisis avoided.

Follow me on twitter, yo: @OmahaHostage #SALUTE!!!

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