Monday, February 16, 2015

Open Letter To Tyga (oh dont it...yaaaaaah...oh my gawd)

Dear Tyga,

    First off I would like to apologize on behalf of my city for the bottle throwing incident and for Honey Cocaine being shot. Now on to that real shit…why would you leave a fake booty stripper with dermal piercings in her cheeks for a teen that just turned 17? Why would  you want that kind of stress fam? Let me break down the heartache a nigga feels when he’s dealing with a young lady in the social media age…especially if she aint two turds in a depends diaper aka she aint shit.

    Now you’re scrolling through IG(Instagram) and you come across a your baby’s page, and it aint nothing but thirst traps! I mean its so many valleys of cleavage you’d think Marvin and Tammi came back to collab for the 99 and the 2000. But you telling yourself, “it aint that bad, my baby just like showing them thangs off for me, cause we aint always together” then yo black ass click on the pic and you see the comments…aint nothing but eggplant emoji’s, cats, and splashes of water up n down them comments and that aint the worse part…you know whats even sadder? She’s commenting back on every damn eggplant, fam! So now you done grabbed your prayer cloths and spoke to Jesus and had a conversation with ya mama about the love of your life entertaining dicks on IG. Ya mama warned you, ya daddy told you not to catch feelings, but now you sitting on the bathroom floor in yo draws sweating, crying with snot dripping out ya bell pepper nose playing Russian roulette with her activity tab on IG. You finally click on that activity tab and all you see is her liking pix of niggas free ballin’ in grey/gray sweatpants and she commenting with heart eye emojis with peaches and splashes of water. How the fuck can you deal with that stress?! Tell me Tyga! You don’t need to be aging like a banana dealing with that nonsense. 

    Or maybe you are part of the crowd that uses twitter logic in the real world, maybe you read that tweet that said, “25 for a man is like being 17”. Don’t use twitter logic, you will never find happiness fam. I promise you, just look at how they said that $200 dollar dates were the move, but slandered folks that spent $700 on dinner…that poor couple twitpic’d their receipt thinking they pleased the section 8 area of twitter and caught hell…not slander, but hell. Tyga don’t use twitter logic, it’ll have you tweeting your feelings towards a Canadian rapper and deleting the tweets only to suffer from screen shots cause trailer park twitter wanted clicks for their blog.

     So in conclusion, Michael Ray Nguyen-Stevenson leave that young girl alone, you got Caillou and Chyna beefing on twitter. Her mother aint gon do shit but have you speaking like a castrated old navy employee named Jarron but he doesn’t want to offend the whites so he goes by “Jerry” aka Kanye’s white amerikkkan voice and she’s gonna have you on E! performing a remixed version of Rack City for the opening sequence of Kylie and Kendall Take Okoboji. And you won’t get a dime from publishing. But hey if you wanna take that trip to find out for yourself go ahead, we’ll see you on VH1’s couples therapy tryna work things out with Tila Tequila.

Big Homey Double


Thursday, February 5, 2015

This Ain't A Pleasant View

 Gentrification- The restoration and upgrading of deteriorated urban property by middle-class or affluent people, often resulting in displacement of lower-income people.

  I’m seeing a lot of slander for the development of the old Hilltop Dirty 3rd(33rd)/Pleasant View Housing Projects. All I am seeing is gentrification, gentrification, gentrification…blah, blah, blah. Now I was getting ready to jump on that train and get my Furious Styles on, but I researched the organization that’s leading the charge and what iggzackly they are trying to do. So let me talk my sh*t as to why this isn’t gentrification.

  First off this organization 75 North is headed by Executive Director Othello Meadows, my bad Attorney Othello Meadows…a brotha and down North native. The board also has former chief of police Thomas Warren another affluent brotha from Omaha. Now I am not saying that just because the head of the project is a black man from North Omaha along with a board member that’s black and a north Omaha staple is cause for you to shed your gentrification beliefs about this project, but it should wake you up a bit.

  The whole purpose of the development is to have a “Purpose Built Community”. A “Purpose Built Community” is supposed to turn a poverty stricken area around by having nice affordable housing with a sense of belonging. And y’all know the only belonging up on Pleasantview was gangs and cops harassing you, everytime you drove, walk, or rode your bike near there. I get the sense that folks saw the Buffetts backing the project financially and not doing any research on 75 North, you automatically assumed that it was gonna be gentrification like those Miami Heights homes. $400k homes in a poverty stricken area aint shit but screaming “come slum for a high price and feel superior than your neighbors.” But this project to revamp Hilltop Dirty 3rd is all about empowerment and the rental properties range from $600-$900 a month. So how is that gentrification?

  We hoot and holler about how crime is based off of lack of opportunity for jobs and how there isn’t anything good happening down north, but soon as something like this happens you’re complaining. Why? Help me understand. I honestly think that you just wanna talk about solutions than actually act on the solutions that are presented. Its easy to tune in to Tariq’spodcast, clap, nod, and tweet about how he’s kickin that real. But are you out here practicing what he’s preaching? He’s out here putting in work and you just wanna be a fan. It’s nothing but another form of sitting up bullshitting. It’s hard work to put a plan in to action, but its not impossible. Remember that. So keep ya views to yourself, if you’re not out here motivating the streets through action. Peace Isa.


Follow Me: @OmahaHostage

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The Dark Cloud


            Have you ever just been around someone and they have impacted your mood in a negative way? Like you feel damn good before but after talking to them or being around them you feel as if you need to take a dip in the cooling waters of Lake Minnetonka to purify yourself? Or are you still in the same spot you were in 5/10yrs ago that you were in? You my friend are a victim of The Dark Cloud.

            The Dark Cloud is cloud full of doubt, laziness, depression, self-hate, envy and feeling sorry for oneself. You can be a victim and not even know it. Pain is all some folks know which is sad, but the truth. Those folks rarely experience joy and look to “share” their pain and grief with others for a pity party. That’s all a smoke session is…a glorified pity party with weed and maybe liquor if the funds are on fleek (did I use that right?)? “Let’s all enjoy this mid and talk about our struggles without a solution, deal?” How dumb does that sound? You enjoy that green but you got tricked in to being a therapist to lil crip crip and young bool…see how that Dark Cloud caught you…

            That’s just one way for the Cloud to get you, another way that cloud can get you is when you’re born in to it. You know paying Uncle Sam and Aunt Pam with your paycheck cause you’ve been fed a guilt trip about the family that struggles together, struggles forever. Now you on the phone with ya pappy every Sunday and he telling you all of his problems before he asks, “how you doing?” You can feel guilty about grinding and being more than someone with a good job if you want, but in actuality all you have to do is become a respectable adult, that’s all that your parents should expect from you…not a therapist or a bank. You gotta break that fuck nigga cycle, it’s tough but you can do it.

            You can project that Dark Cloud without even knowing it…well you know, you just choose to act like you don’t know. I was with my lady at the Chinese buffet last weekend and they sat us near these heavyset older women. One lady was eating and the other lady was on her cellphone telling someone all of her problems. “Maybe you can talk to Tom about this because I don’t know what I am going to do, I am out of meds, my blood sugar is low, the President is a negro, and I can’t clip my toenails anymore due to my belly being in the way.” Maybe she didn’t say all of that, but she just kept listing all these problems and the mood in the dining area just went dead. My lady and I went from 0 to 100 real quick(did I use that correctly young people of America?). The lady on the phone just went on and on about woe is me and how life is unfair to her and blah blah blah. Just typing these last few paragraphs are making me exhausted. So we talked to our waiter and we moved. Mood restored. So don’t be the mood killer…in the words of Koondrick Lamar, “Bitch don’t kill my vibe!” Stop fishing for the wrong kind of attention…pity cannot replace love.

            So you’re stuck in a rut, but don’t seem to know why? Look at your inner circle, if your inner circle or company you keep is full of strife and struggle then of course you are going to be in a rut. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your problems and coming up with solutions, but if all you have to bring to the table is sad thoughts and problems…well you need to get the fuck on and practice some meditation. You also need to start expanding your circle along with your experiences. You will learn something if you hang around folks doing better than you. Life is a gift, remember that. And focus on things that you can control, fuck the dumb shit and work on becoming a better you. Work. Work. Work. You can’t cheat the grind because the results will show. Smile.