Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Uncle Sam and Aunt Pam


            Paying Uncle Sam is a bitch, especially when you work overtime and you get taxed at a higher rate. There is nothing worse than racking up 20-30 hours of overtime only to see about 7 hours of overtime pay on your check. But a lot of us have to pay Aunt Pam and that keeps you in a financial rut, that keeps the cycle of poverty going. Who is Aunt Pam? Aunt Pam aka The Black Tax. That is when your paycheck is going towards your family to keep them from drowning. 

            A lot of us have paid or are continuing to pay Aunt Pam. When you’re in college or fresh from graduating you are supposed to be working on building your foundation. A lot of college graduates move back home (rent free) to find a new job and save $$$ to buy their first home or get a place to stay. That’s not the case with us that are subject to paying the Black Tax. A lot of times we are holding down our parent’s household while trying to build for ourselves. Paying rent, utilities, buying groceries, and buying school clothes/supplies for our younger siblings. It’s frustrating that when you’re the only one working the whole household gets paid too…without doing the work. 

            There is always that family guilt that’s put on you, about how family is everything and how much your parent(s) sacrificed for you to get this far. When the truth is they feel as if you owe them for having you. It’s like reverse parenting, the former head of household falls back, stops working, and expect you to make the household thrive off of $9/hr. At this point you love your parents, but it’s hard to respect them, when they play you like that. You turn in to a parent without having in any kids, so to speak. 

            Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with helping your folks out when they are struggling. Paying a light bill here, buying groceries there, but it gets tough when the able bodied become disabled due to the child working. The sacrifices made excuse is pure bullshit…most of our folks were out partying and bullshitting in their 20’s and early 30’s. So don’t feed us that bullshit. This is partly how the cycle of poverty keeps going. You’re working to hold down two households when in fact if it was just one household, You could invest the rest of your money in to something that would make you even more money…like the S&P 500. 

            I didn’t want to write this blog due to some folks being offended, but coming in to the New Year a lot folks need to stop the bullshit and stop putting up with bullshit. And if you’re a parent that’s living off of your child…make the sacrifice and get a job. Let your young adult be a young adult. Don’t take their lives from them, let them build their own.


Monday, December 29, 2014

We Need A Resolution


             So 2015 is approaching and fast. You will see a bunch of New Year, New Me posts via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and SnapChat. And you’re first thought is, “yeah right, this person is going to be the same a**hole that they were at 11:59 pm 12/31/14.” And that’s you’re first mistake. Don’t worry about others with their New Years’ goals, worry about ya damn self and how you will make 2015, your best year ever. And now you’re asking, “Well, A.B. how do you do that? Since you have all the answers…apparently.” Keep reading, I got you.

            The first thing you want to do in 2015 is to stop wasting your damn time! Time is something that you cannot get back and stop wasting it by sitting in front of the TV, videogames, YouTube rabbit holes, etc. Do not waste your time on things that are not important to you and that are not helping you reach your goals. Learn to live in the present.

            Next what you want to focus on is getting a healthy workout routine. I know people would rather sit down and stuff their face with so much buttery, delicious foods, but you gotta get your mind and body right. Start the day off with some meditation. It will get you mentally prepared for the day and cleanse your soul. Once you’re done meditating you should feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. We all know that the gym will be packed for the first few weeks of January and maybe even February, but don’t let the over crowdedness overwhelm you. Get in that gym and get it in. I would recommend you getting a gym membership to somewhere that’s open 24hrs a day. 

            So now you have a healthy workout routine and you decided to stop wasting your time…now what? You get rid of the pollutants and by pollutants, I mean people. So many of us have toxic people in our lives that either kill our positive energy or drag us back to where we were. And you don’t need that in your life, at all. It will be hard to cut those people off, especially if they are close friends and family. But what we fail to remember is that this is OUR life. And you have to be selfish at times to deliver your gift to the world. Some will understand and some will hate you for it, but those that hate you for it will either start making changes themselves in a positive direction or find someone else to leach on to and bring them down. Take your life back.  

            That will be the toughest thing that you do this year, but now it’s time to step outside of your comfort zone. You have dreams and goals that you would like to accomplish. And make 2015 that year to do that! You and I know the old saying, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you always got.” Step out of the norm and embrace the uncomfortable. Welcome it with open arms, get used to having your heart in your throat beating at 200bpm, and remember you deserve success, no self-shaming. 

            The meditation will help you get rid of your limiting beliefs. Everything we use in society has been created by people just like you, so don’t let the stats of New Year’s Resolutions kept get to you. The mind is very powerful, so feed it with positivity. Stop wasting your time on frivolous bullshit and toxic people. Once you master those two, you will have more time and energy to hit the gym. You get your workout routine down and your confidence will build, because you’re sticking to a routine and you are looking damn good! Now take that newfound confidence and become uncomfortable. And remember: You can’t cheat the grind, the results will show.

“I’m on twitter tweeting like it’s just you and me.”

Sunday, December 28, 2014

If Your Fap Game Is On Fleek, Then You Don’t Need Me.

 Twitter is better than cable at times and when I say at times I mean most of the damn time. Yesterday between stops, I was on twitter seeing what “fake rich twitter” was lying about. “Fake rich twitter” is the group of folks that like to slander anything you Twitpic or tweet about that their jealous of or didn’t think of first. Christmas day they were slandering people over 30 who got gifts…cause apparently if you’re over 30 and get a gift they feel that you still live in your parents’ basement. I would slander folks for getting gifts also if all I had to offer on Christmas was my opinion and eating turkey flavored hot pockets for Christmas dinner. But that’s another story. I ran across “genius twitter” and their thoughts on relationships. “Genius twitter” is the group of millennials under 25 that have life figured out. Think about your younger sibling or cousin when they were a teen and they had life all figured out…well that’s how “genius twitter” tweets read.

  So “genius twitter” decided to talk about how masturbation while in a relationship is considered cheating. A young lady with a lot of followers from “genius twitter” stated along the lines of that when she would get a man he would not have to jack off at all, because she would keep his ball sack empty. Praise white Jesus, for that sentiment…but let’s be real you can’t be there all the damn time or in the mood when your man is in the mood. And what amazed me yesterday was that so many women and men agreed with the young lady. Now I believe for the men agreeing that they wanted some love shown back from shawty, cause you know niggas will do anything for an RT or follow back from a pretty lady on twitter. They will throw their own kids under a speeding bus named slander for a “lol” response. 

 But back to the ladies that agree…is that true? Would you consider your man a cheater if you caught him babysitting some knuckle children with his iPad playing “Booty Talk vol. 237”? I say that it’s perfectly fine for your partner to masturbate, just as long as the masturbation isn’t preferred over the real thing. For example your girl comes to bed completely naked and wants to cuddle…you push her away and take your lap top to the bathroom, light a lavender scented candle, grab a faux silk nut rag, and proceed to turn on “New Jack Whooty vol 69”. That’s when you need to take a step back and realize that you’re addicted to porn or you need to have ya lady step her sex game up. And if it’s the latter there is nothing but joy in sharing with your lady about how you like to be pleased and vice versa.

 It could always be worse…like instead of your partner masturbating, they could go out and seek that orgasm from someone else. Your man or woman could be on craigslist or backpage paying for that nut. And bringing home a dick or vag that’s been coated with molten lava. Or in other words an STD/STI. If your partner is masturbating, don’t look at it like “there’s something wrong me, my partner isn’t attracted to me, etc…” Sometimes you just need to get a quick one off and your partner isn’t around or in the mood. Fellas, if she isn’t comfortable with you squeezing one off, you just gotta send her a vid of the money shot while she’s at work with a caption that says your thinking about her.

  Now if he/she breaks up with you for being a masturbator then well you didn’t take your partner on enough $200 dates, cause you know “twitter logic”.

Follow me on Twitter @OmahaHostage and that’s Omaha Hostage…not Omaha Ho Stage… ( ._.) 

“I’m on twitter, tweeting like it’s just you and me.”


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Forgive Me If I Don't Smile

  I haven’t blogged in quite some time…since June…Jesus. I feel now is the time to dust off my keyboard and do God’s work by giving y’all my point of view on a choice topic. This blog is titled “Forgive Me If I Don’t Smile” why? Well it’s just that…I am done smiling. Right now Amerikkka is letting us (black folks) know iggzackly where it stands on the issue of police homicides involving blacks. And it hurts, you always knew that the system in place was built off of the backs of blacks and other “minorities”, but to witness the hate and fear of whites firsthand is somewhat of a new experience for me. I have dealt with racism and bigotry all of my life being a black man, but with the internet you really get to see who’s who and where they stand.

  After the Ferguson decision to not move forward with the indictment of Darren Wilson for the murder of Michael Brown, the fire was lit on both sides of the wick. Black folks (well, most blacks) woke up and realized that Amerikkka does not give two sh*ts and a f*ck about a black life. On the other side you had closeted white supremacists come out the wood work or at least their FB/Twitter/Instagram with their posts about how the jury made the right decision to not indict a police officer that was “just doing his job”. And in their eyes “just doing their job” is killing unarmed blacks with a made up excuse. 

  No video or pix for the Mike Brown killing, so the jury could be manipulated by a story that took over 3 months to trump up to justify the killing of Mike Mike. Protests/riots start and here come Amerikkkans with their opinions of the unheard. Why did I call them the unheard? Lowkey white supremacists love to quote Dr. King’s, “I have a Dream” speech, but Dr. King said, “A riot is the language of the unheard.” And right now Amerikkka does not give two sh*ts and a f*ck about what black people have to say. And if I am correct didn’t the “I have a Dream” speech have a line in it about police brutality? Anyways I have seen the protestors and rioters called everything from wild niggers to scum. And some blacks that have been assimilated in to what they believe to be the land of milk and honey agree with these sentiments. And it’s disgusting. These blacks are ones that “pulled themselves up by the boot straps” and worked hard by singing, dancing, or being a sweaty beast with a sports ball. That money and the entertainment that they provided for Amerikkka gave them some privilege to look down the capitalistic ladder at other blacks and wag their finger. Again, disgusting. 

  You got folks out here trying to hinder the “hands up don’t shoot” movement by telling protestors to protest in peace like our people did in civil rights era. Well if I’m not mistaken peaceful protestors were being beaten, had dogs attack them, and firehoses blasted their way. And what really worked was the bus boycott, black folks stopped spending their money on public transportation which threw a wrench in the economy. But you know folks like to pull only certain things to support their argument. So in the end f*ck a peaceful protest, the world needs to hear us. Amerikkka loves to police the world, but their own backyard is full of dry patches and tall weeds to hide their misconduct against blacks. 

  And the people that scream “stop making this about race, it’s about police brutality” look at the comments under Derrick Rose’s pic of him wearing the “I Can’t Breathe” t-shirt. The age of turning the other cheek and ignoring social issues for athletes is coming to an end. And that scares the hell out of a lot of Amerikkkans. Because to be accepted by Amerikkkans you have to either be able to sing, dance, be athletically gifted, and don’t speak your mind on social issues. In other words “shut the fuck up and entertain us, boy/girl.” 

  Every damn step you take in Amerikkka as a minority someone is there to remind you that you are just a second class citizen on temporary land. So forgive me if I don’t smile when you speak to me and your facebook post is filled with racial epithets. Forgive me if I don’t reply to you when you want to talk about Sunday’s football game, when your Instagram posts are filled with slanderous pictures of what happened to Eric Garner, Mike Brown, and other victims of homicidal police officers. Forgive me, brotha, if I don’t hit you with a head nod or a dap because the events in Missouri don’t impact you and it’s not your fight. 

  One day you’ll get it and I hope it’s sooner than later. The system in place is not working and the cogs in this disgusting machine are breaking and working on building a system of equality and justice. Then on that day just maybe, I will smile. Until then, forgive me for not smiling.