Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The Dark Cloud


            Have you ever just been around someone and they have impacted your mood in a negative way? Like you feel damn good before but after talking to them or being around them you feel as if you need to take a dip in the cooling waters of Lake Minnetonka to purify yourself? Or are you still in the same spot you were in 5/10yrs ago that you were in? You my friend are a victim of The Dark Cloud.

            The Dark Cloud is cloud full of doubt, laziness, depression, self-hate, envy and feeling sorry for oneself. You can be a victim and not even know it. Pain is all some folks know which is sad, but the truth. Those folks rarely experience joy and look to “share” their pain and grief with others for a pity party. That’s all a smoke session is…a glorified pity party with weed and maybe liquor if the funds are on fleek (did I use that right?)? “Let’s all enjoy this mid and talk about our struggles without a solution, deal?” How dumb does that sound? You enjoy that green but you got tricked in to being a therapist to lil crip crip and young bool…see how that Dark Cloud caught you…

            That’s just one way for the Cloud to get you, another way that cloud can get you is when you’re born in to it. You know paying Uncle Sam and Aunt Pam with your paycheck cause you’ve been fed a guilt trip about the family that struggles together, struggles forever. Now you on the phone with ya pappy every Sunday and he telling you all of his problems before he asks, “how you doing?” You can feel guilty about grinding and being more than someone with a good job if you want, but in actuality all you have to do is become a respectable adult, that’s all that your parents should expect from you…not a therapist or a bank. You gotta break that fuck nigga cycle, it’s tough but you can do it.

            You can project that Dark Cloud without even knowing it…well you know, you just choose to act like you don’t know. I was with my lady at the Chinese buffet last weekend and they sat us near these heavyset older women. One lady was eating and the other lady was on her cellphone telling someone all of her problems. “Maybe you can talk to Tom about this because I don’t know what I am going to do, I am out of meds, my blood sugar is low, the President is a negro, and I can’t clip my toenails anymore due to my belly being in the way.” Maybe she didn’t say all of that, but she just kept listing all these problems and the mood in the dining area just went dead. My lady and I went from 0 to 100 real quick(did I use that correctly young people of America?). The lady on the phone just went on and on about woe is me and how life is unfair to her and blah blah blah. Just typing these last few paragraphs are making me exhausted. So we talked to our waiter and we moved. Mood restored. So don’t be the mood killer…in the words of Koondrick Lamar, “Bitch don’t kill my vibe!” Stop fishing for the wrong kind of attention…pity cannot replace love.

            So you’re stuck in a rut, but don’t seem to know why? Look at your inner circle, if your inner circle or company you keep is full of strife and struggle then of course you are going to be in a rut. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your problems and coming up with solutions, but if all you have to bring to the table is sad thoughts and problems…well you need to get the fuck on and practice some meditation. You also need to start expanding your circle along with your experiences. You will learn something if you hang around folks doing better than you. Life is a gift, remember that. And focus on things that you can control, fuck the dumb shit and work on becoming a better you. Work. Work. Work. You can’t cheat the grind because the results will show. Smile.



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