The Great Divide: Black Male Patriarchy

 “They nervous when they see the black man walking down the street boppin, hold yo’ head and keep rocking,  pants sag, fuck a cop swag, keep (2) Pac’n, it’s a new world doctrine, oppression is not an option…” –Jay Electronica From Act II (Rough Demo)

            I came across a debate on twitter about Black Male Patriarchy and Negro Bed Wenches…I’m very puzzled by the term of Black Male Patriarchy because Patriarchy is defined as “A System or Government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line.” But what the hell is Black Male Patriarchy? I’ll tell you what it is…it’s a damn myth. Unless people (mainly sistas) consider the made up rules that black men have to abide by, to get by in Amerikkka. Let me give you some of these patriarchic rules: when the weather is frightful and a brotha is rocking a hood, a store clerk will politely remind him to take off that hood. Thanks for the reminder, sweetheart. As a black man I actually appreciate how law enforcement agencies take appropriate precautions against us to protect the American people. The media loves to shine the spotlight on us, for doing amazing things, like robbing liquor stores and murdering my own kind. And to be the face of crime is amazing, that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what Black Male Patriarchy is in Amerikkka.

            So I’m obviously being a smart ass, cause fact of the matter is that bullshit that’s been getting kicked lately is a damn lie. The black male is vilified in mainstream media…we aint keeping our sistas down. That system is nonexistent in the black community.

            Where did this term come from? Honestly, I just started seeing “Black Male Patriarchy” once the slander for the tv show Scandal began. You can’t shit on Olivia Pope, the black community won’t allow it..even though she’s president’s side piece.  And  when Tariq Nasheed introduced the phrase “Negro Bed Wench”. It started to pop up all over social media.  Here’s the definition according to Tariq à http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5v-5YhPau4 If you don’t wanna view the vid, just peep the sista in Django Unchained that was Calvin Candie’s piece. That’s a negro bed wench aka the female uncle tom.

                Fact of the matter is that this debate/argument is just stupid. I feel as if we as people can’t get along…for shit!!! If it ain’t me shooting my brotha cause he reps a different color bandanna, or slandering my own kind to be accepted by the infrastructure, colorism aka “dark skin niggas be like, light skin niggas be like…” “she’s pretty to be so dark” etc., now it’s black feminists  vs. the phantom black male patriarchy.  We out here just lost in the Matrix. Blacks are about to reach a trillion dollars in buying power, but we can’t even get over us being different shades of black.  That dives in to us not knowing our history and trying to create our own history as we live. We’re out here tryna follow the drinking gourd, but you can’t head north in a barrel fulla crabs, fam. Get it together, black folks.

Follow me on twitter: @OmahaHostage

Zebra Cake (Breakdown)

I dusted off the mic and started back on this rap shit, I thought that I could be cool waiting on others and hit when the time is right... but the time is now. As I was working and doing homework, I would always get sidetrack and pen some bars in my phone. Or I would be putting together some coffee tables at work and just freestyling my ass off to the point where my coworkers would be like, "You say something A.B.?" So here's a breakdown of Zebra Cake. The inspiration came from the beat itself you really don't hear something so simple yet dope in rap. I felt as if gave me the freedom to kick what I needed, just to get my point across.

V1: How many of y'all living ya dream, (Just a simple question to get the listener back focused on what they should be doing)I'm doing that right now with the song I sing(I'm not necessarily signing but being in that booth always feels like a dream), I started from the bottom, it was too many problems(Self explanatory), I left them crabs in a barrel, started climbing the ladder(This is a play on the mentality of too many folks at the bottom that are comfortable, so they pull you down with them once you start taking the appropriate steps to reach a goal), the higher that I got, I took the road less traveled(I'm saying that I don't want to follow the same path that everyone else took), soon as I took that route the herd start thinning out,(No one is on the journey that I am on, so I'm only competing with myself) now, Social media is like the wild Wild West,(savages on FB, Instagram, Twitter, Vine etc.) niggas with no couth wanna destroy ya rep, (Niggas that aint got shit going for themselves love to slander and get a reaction, I used to think folks were making up haters, but a lot of folks need a purpose and some couth. Just look at a celebrity's @'s on twitter. )but Im cool at all times, even when slander is at all time high, (when the heathens arrive, I just shut the mini-blinds )niggas ask why? Cause no one can do it better than this Omaha fella(I believe in me, even if the people can't grasp my vision, yet.), every bar that I pen has calligraphy letters(this is just another way of me saying that I'll deliver something a little fancy in each bar), since the balls in my court I'm just waiting to check up(waiting on whoever to play ball), dream shaking in the paint, Kobe from the wing, Lebron with a lane, I do the damn thang,(just some boasting bars) scary niggas with a pistol, we call em bishop (this was a bar that I used to use on niggas way back in high school, niggas loved to kick that I'll use a gun to blow ya face off, but that Bishop from juice line would shut that down)my flow's too smooth to induce the hiccups(my flow isn't erk n jerk, it's pretty consistent), Im like water through a stream, you niggas been stuck(I move fluidly on tracks, I still write my lyrics down, I don't punch in and waste the engineer's time), I ain't broke a sweat yet I'm just getting my wind up X2(this verse came too easy to me.)

V2: The wave that I'm on, got me feeling like King Kong,(Still playing with my flow, I caught the beat running, if you peep the way my verse comes in on the beat. I'm feeling big like the monkey on the empire state building) and my stomach's in knots from all of this King Fong's(I was eating a bunch of King Fong's while penning the verses for this joint.), Moët Chandon helps ease the pain(champagne for the pain, using Moet as pepto bismol), no more strip clubs for me, I can't stand the rain, but these bastards don't get it, the assets is liquid(I never understood the making it rain wave, sometimes Rap makes the dumbest shit cool. Throwing up thousands of dollars just to say that you have $$$. You can't YOLO your funds. You gotta build a foundation with the $$$ you're making off music), Wall Street fails and I'm still here flipping, yeah that's word to my grape V's, the sneaker revolution and the beasts that hype(I'm saying fuck the wolves on wall street that continue to fuck with the people's funds, I can still make that hand to hand $$$. The sneaker game is turning in to the drug game, cop a pair of kicks for $180, turn around and sell em for $350-$400+. You can make money, just gotta be creative and have a strong internet connection), we were raised to survive, self taught to thrive,(If you grew up poor, most likely you were raised in survival mode, now that you're grown it's time to go past survival and actually thrive. Stop settling for "at least". Do more. ) I walk a fine line between the sun and the moon, 1 day it's Durags, the next its boat shoes(this is me relating to my fellow brothers, we have to tip toe between who we are and who the dominate society wants us to be, all while breaking down stereotypes.), new era hat over the the stocking cap, sperry's on a ferry, I'm enjoying the view(one day I'm lounging in a durag and fitted cap, the next I'm rocking sperry's on a boat, but I'm still me.), (Ric flair whooooo) shoutout my boy Lovelace, admire what ya doing just keep up the pace, ain't too many niggas out here doing shit for their race...cause Cash Rules Everything Around Me...(this is just a shoutout to the young homie Brandon, from rounding up shopping carts to windsor knots. And also reaching back once he moved forward, helping the youth. Most of us, have the idea that it's me, me, me, but your blessings will come tenfold if you help those that need it).

V3. Zebra...Cake...you can't read my stripes(This is just playing off of what Jigga did on the original, I aint near 500 mil so I ain't gotta pound cake <pound of cake>, I got that paycheck to paycheck $$$, cheap zebra cake. Then I'm playing off of the stripes on the actual cake.), I'm playing chess, just to get my piece of the pie(more dessert references, you gotta think ahead if you want to make it in Amerikkka.), you can see right through me, I got nothing to hide(this is fooling the listener "you just said 'you can't read my stripes' now you got nothing to hide...so it's a contradiction, but like I said before I'm playing chess.), cause I'm a man of my word, just look in my eyes(The older I get the more I know the importance of keeping my word and being a man of my word), old school nigga I ain't nowhere near 40, almost 30, but my face talk for me, yeah you know black don't crack(Young guy with old school morals, I feel like my generation is so cut throat and will do anything to get a little recognition, step on toes before they lace on their on boots. Also I look a lot younger than I am...freckled faced villain.), black Omaha you know it's more than rap, just some real fly shit, 5 black hands keep the $$$ tight knit(support your own, just speaking on the black hands theory, your $$$ should go through so many black owned businesses before it leaves the community. Black Omaha is more than a color it's a positive movement highlighting the foks that aren't doing negative b.s. That gets so much attention on the news.), these bars are priceless, ...that's why you getting em for free, if I didn't love y'all, I'd charge you a fee,(free music, I appreciate you listening) cash rules everything around me, but I gotta say fuck $$$ cause it comes with dream, some of y'all will get it, some of yall won't(we get so caught up chasing $$$ that we forget about what we really want out of life. Do what you love and you will be rewarded for it greatly), get ya life savers on, cause I'm rocking the boat, my...flow is on a whole nother' level(Going back to my rap style and the cadence I used on the track. the other verses were smooth except for this last one), I upped the ante, my city don't settle(tryna build to the point where Omaha won't settle for subpar songs), step ya game up if you sparring with me, but I ain't met a rapper yet with that kind of ability, cause rap rules everything around me...(Just the competitive nature coming out and saying I love rap)

Take a listen here--> https://soundcloud.com/a-beezy-1/zebra-cake-pound-cake-remake

Follow me on Twitter/Instagram @OmahaHostage

The Self-Cleaning Oven

   

      Yo, it’s been a minute since I wrote a blog, to be honest I haven’t been inspired to write anything that’ll be entertaining yet informative. And I try not to force creativity because that’s when shit gets lame like Ne-Yo singing live at the NBA all-star game. But it’s time to bless the concrete and street corners with another blog, yo. “About what, A.B.?” The self-cleaning oven theory…

            I always thought about crime when I was little in the aspect of you see a million cop cars riding around “poor/urban/inner city” neighborhoods, but crime was always high. Why is that? The almighty dollar, bruh. And that almighty dollar is the root cause of “the self-cleaning oven” theory. Think about an oven that cleans itself, it cooks your food and cleans itself. The only thing you have to do is prepare the food and clean the outside and around the burners. So keep that in mind while you read this blog.

            Food Prep: Money makes the world go round, being a part of law enforcement is a job FIRST. You get paid from a job, plain and simple. No jobs equal higher crime rates. Niggas (all people I call nigga) ain’t got a job they’re gonna go out and get that money by any means. Or niggas just gonna be niggas and do triflin’ shit. Take away opportunities and jobs in a community and plant a police station in the middle of “crime central”. Voila food prep.

            Cooking/Eating:  So now you got all these cops out on the streets in the hood, patrolling. This is what I like to call cooking/eating. The oven aka the hood is doing what it does best cooking. So now with the food prep aka no jobs/opportunities done its time to cook/eat. Sharks in the water(squad cars). Petty arrests, even more petty tickets being handed out at the first of the month…wake up wake up. Why the first of the month? Most folks in the hood are on a fixed income and handle business soon as that EBT card is loaded up. They’re like a school of fish to the great whites. Whooop Whooop, license and registration please…oh you have a warrant for blah blah blah. Same for the petty drug dealers, they’re products of needing money quickly and bullshit jobs or no jobs. So they’re out tough on the first week of the month serving and tryna make it out. Undercovers out working over time(more $$$) to eat off the hand to hand entrepreneurs. More arrests equal more $$$ for the county and that trickles down when it's time for that annual review and raise.

            Cleaning the surface:  So now on the outside looking in you’re thinking that the cops are so overwhelmed that they can’t arrest everyone…bullshit.  Or thinking the cops are doing a great job when you see a “big bust” on tv…more bullshit. If shit really worked in law enforcement you would cut off the head and the body would fall, but nah they gotta keep eating. No crime no $$$. Simple and plain. Don’t go after the supplier bringing it in or the middle man connecting the supplier and dealer. Just arrest the petty dealers because they keep repopulating. Circle of crime.

           

           Self-Cleaning:  Murder in the hood is the equivalent of the self-cleaning function on the oven. Detectives work “over time” to solve these unsolved murders. Black on black, brown on brown, and poor on poor murders are considered self-cleaning. No one is gonna jump through hoops to solve those murders but they sure will milk that clock to act like they’re working a hot lead that’ll lead to an arrest.  Don’t arrest the connects or suppliers the streets need to be the walking dead. The more of a daze the streets are in, the easier it is to manipulate em and eat off of them…

Food for thought, you do the dishes: To keep these pigs from eating off of concrete, the hood needs to get their affairs in order. Don't give em a reason to lock you up. There is no better feeling than being pulled over by the five-0 and having all of your shit together. "They won't catch me slipping" is my motto. And it should be the hoods motto also. You can fight bullshit tickets & charges...keyword: FIGHT! Folks give up too damn easily when fighting against an establishment. That hand to hand money is great until them alphabet boys come kicking in your door. And these senseless murders is just what the establishment wants...But hey I know, "I gotta rep this hood til the death of me, even though I don't own any of this land and this man's face looks just like my face, but he's from a different part of the city reppin a different hood, so I must take this muthafucka out." <-- shit sounds stupid don't it. That's that crab in a barrel syndrome that the establishment banks on…self-cleaning oven, but y’all don’t hear me though. The sink is full and there are no clean plates.

Twitter: @OmahaHostage

These niggas ain't shit, girl...

 

 

“Niggas ain’t shit!” “I’m too strong for these weak ass men.” “All I need is me and my kids.” “Niggas only want them white bitches because they’re weak just like them sorry ass niggas!” “Niggas only stick around for a place to stay, then when he get on first thing he gets is a white bitch!” “Ya daddy ain’t shit!” I’ve heard all these phrases waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many times growing up. And I know every black male from the age of 35 and down has heard these words being shouted from the mountain top by a Nubian Queen.

 

 

            Where does this stem from? Ain’t shit niggas, feminist movement in the 60’s, society being accepting of children being born out of wedlock, and welfare & grandma playing the role of pappy.

 

 

            Ain’t shit niggas doing our Queens dirty and the Nubian Goddess not being able to charge Twan to the game. Instead every nigga she comes across has the same characteristics as Twan…in her eyes. Ladies, no man wants to fight an uphill battle right off the bat in a relationship. Brother trying to take you out on a date and you bringing up how Twan only took you to McDonald’s and made you pay for everything. “You probably just like Twan cheap ass.” Aaaaaaand that’s why you’re single. You know Twan is somewhere laid up under another hardworking Queen living like Kings he ain’t thinking about you, boo boo. Let him go and open your heart.

 

            Operation “Divide and Conquer” took full effect with the feminist movement during/after/cause of the Civil Rights movement in the 60’s. The black woman was not in the back, but right by her man’s side while he marched/attacked fighting for rights for PEOPLE of color. Then the white women get “inspired” by the progress of the Civil Rights movement and here comes the feminist charge…smh. The black woman didn’t have no problem with her man and the black man didn’t have any problem with his woman, but feminist movement didn’t really make any strides until sisters were recruited. Before then all they were doing was going bra-less and growing out body hair. So sisters started acting a plum fool at home and forgot all about the good of the people. Now brothers are like, “what the fuck?! We lost Malcolm, Dr. King, the Black Panthers and yo’ black ass talking about letting your p*ssy grow a fro cause you want equal rights?!” “You won’t cook me a meal after I have been at work for 10hrs straight being called a nigger by my boss? Cause some elbow titty’d bulldagger with a mustache said so?! I’m out of here!” Truth be told there wasn’t any unity within the feminist movement between sisters and white women. While my sisters are still on that black feminist sh*t their so called white sisters in the movement have settled down with a Nubian God, Operation “Divide and Conquer” is a success.

 

 

            With the black man and woman at odds only time they got along is in the bedroom. Now it’s socially accepted for a black woman to raise kids on her own. So she’s screaming everything that was in the intro of this blog raising lil soft, gay, or bitch made boys. Little kings are hearing these things and only having women in their lives are naturally gonna take on some of those “strong” feminine characteristics. I have said this many a times QUIT SHITTING ON MEN IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS!!! And I don’t care how tough grandma is, she can’t fill the shoes of a father. The government can’t play pappy either. If the dusty nigga ain’t tryna be in his kids life, charge him to the game, forget about him, and his dirtball ways.

 

 

            “But AB aka Double aka Omaha Hostage, what about these niggas choosing white women?” What about it? For every brother choosing a white woman there’s 20 more vying for your attention. I don’t give a damn about race mixing. We wouldn’t have President Obama or Tia & Tamera if race mixing were illegal. There’s only the human race in my eyes. Sisters get so caught up throwing shade and shitting on the brothers with other color women they don’t notice the other color brothers checking them out. Please kill that whole white women are docile/weak argument. Nah, I’ve had some and my boys have had some dramatic ass white women. At the end of the day men just want a woman who knows how to be a woman no matter the color. Maybe y’all should open up to other races.

 

 

            Now you’re asking, “Double, how do I be a woman?” Peep the previous blog, boo. I don’t want my sisters to get all butt hurt and go Honey Boo Boo (y’all know she’s making fun of y’all right? That shit ain’t cute, its new age blackface entertainment) on me. If you’re offended good, it means you got some work to do. Niggas ain’t shit…ahhhhh the shit(in my tales from the hood voice)

 

Follow a nigga who is shit on twitter: @OmahaHostage

           

McChicken for President

           

              So I went to the Chi to check out some apartments. Yeah, I’m thinking of making the move out of the glorious state of Nebraska. I took the Greyhound to Chicago and that had to be the most uncomfortable ride…ever. First off, I made the mistake of sitting in the back by the restroom. People kept walking by bumping my damn seat and most of all the smell of 20+ people shitting in one stall, fam, bruh, dawg….NIGGA! Then second of all I had two midget lucha libres sitting behind me acting all fidgety. I didn’t sleep once I saw both of them go into the restroom together, I don’t know if they were secret lovers or went inside to shoot up. I believe the latter cause they came out geeked up! Walking up and down the aisles, mofos couldn’t sit still, bruh bruh. I got the Megabus back thank GOD ALMIGHTY, fam. Cleaner, double decker, more leg room and free wifi. Anyways, so after I touchdown in the Chi my stomach starts talking to me. It’s 6:30am and I head straight for Dunkin’ Donuts to get a couple of strawberry frosted donuts and orange juice please. After my DD fix I check out the bus schedule to see which busses ran south to peep out some would be apartments I found on Craigslist and ForRent.com. My stomach is still scratching my back. So I see the golden arches, LaaawdHaaamercy! I go in and order a good ol sausage egg and cheese McGriddle. I sit down to eat my McGriddle and there it was…

 

            Staring me right in the face like an Optometrist, “It’s Back and Only $1.” With a picture of the McChicken!!! Nigga what?!?! The good people of Chicago were deprived of the McChicken? This can’t be life, kemosabe.  Ahwuuuuuuuuh?! The McChicken is the official chicken sandwich of the after-hours crowd. Niggas know about that “I only got 3 $20’s for the club and I spent $10 to get in and blew $45 on the cute girl and her ugly friends buying em all long islands only to get her @ name on twitter and her instagram handle, my gas tank been on E for 4 days lemme throw this $4 in the tank to make it home and to work for the next week, Now my stomach growling and I gotta buck left and a dime in the ashtray for a McChicken life.”

 

            Also the McChicken has been the official sandwich of the working class and “middle class”.  I put middle class in “” because we know that it doesn’t really exist…haves and have-nots. The McChicken works miracles for the poor. One can feed two toddlers, one can feed a teenager, or adult woman, it might take two to fill up a grown man but hey that’s just $2 plus tax. Hell, one time I only had some milk and a box of chicken helper fettuccini alfredo and a total of $3. I drove right down to Mickey D’s and got two McChickens no mayo diced up that faux chicken breast and made the best damn alfredo known to my black ass, fam.

 

            After watching the conventions I'm conviced that the muthafuckin McChicken will do more for the working class than O’bama or Romney. If the McChicken could run for President I’d vote for it, just as long as the caramel sundae is on the ticket for Vice President.  Feed the streets, bruh, aka “McChicken for President.”

 

Twitter: @abeezy17

Grind Hard like a Rusty Gear

 

It’s been a minute since I’ve blogged, but I’m right back at it like I left something. I’m gonna speak on grinding, now you’re asking, “but, A.B. what is grinding?” Well, grinding simply means working hard and putting in overtime. Now that that’s out of the way lets speak on grinding and how to correctly grind, bruh bruh.

 

                So I’m gonna start with the negative…this ain’t grinding, fam: Grinding is not chilling at the crib and collecting that government money when you’re an able bodied person. That’s a hustle and a damn slow one at that. I don’t wanna see any more tweets, FB updates, or Black Planet updates speaking on your grind if you collecting guvment checks. My nigga, grinding ain’t chilling at ya baby mama’s house playing Let’s Dance on the Wii, waiting on her to break you off 3 $20’s for the weekend. Hey boo, grinding ain’t sucking and fucking for rent…wait never mind do whatever you can to keep the lights on. To these quarter of a quarter brick weed men:  grinding ain’t selling a couple of nicks so you can cop a 10 to blow away the stress of being a “heavy weighter”.  Graduate, bruh bruh.

 

                “What if I fall in to all of those categories, A.B.?” There’s hope for you yet, playboy. If you collecting those gubment checks, you got two choices, A: get a job and still collect those checks for a couple months pulling in double income or B: Flip that guvment/gubment money. “How do I flip deez gubment chex, A.B.?”  Here’s a few ways: Cop a jalopy from Craigslist and resell it for more. Go thrifting and place those items on eBay and let them sell themselves. With the rise of sneakerheads hit the Finishlines, Champs, Niketowns, FootActions, & outlets, cop kicks and resell em at a higher price. Those are just a few ways to flip that gubment/guhment munny. If you’re chilling at ya BM’s waiting on those 3 20’s ain’t no hope for you, fam. You still got that little boy allowance mentality. You ain’t trying to grow up until it’s too late and you on the MAT bus riding around to different temp services being a victim of ageism. “Uh, Oh, Um, Tron you’re 62 and you don’t have any job skills.”  If you out here f*cking for rent: be safe and get checked on the regular, boo. Niggas, if you out here f*cking for 4/$5 banquet dinners and DirecTV, you might as well hit the track or Craigslist, cause you selling yourself short. Be all that you can be, gigolo. For the 1/8^th of a brick pushers, graduate, fam. How do you do that? Keep slanging that oregano and catnip. Sleep with one eye open, same clothes for 3days straight, and believe in your product. Before you know it, you’ll have your own corner runners.

 

                I know this shit is entertaining but if you’re really trying to jumpstart your grind just keep these tips in mind courtesy of Tariq Elite:

1.       Research The Goal and write down every detail of your plan.

2.       Never Fear Failure

3.       Do not compare yourself to anyone in the field you’re going for.

4.       Keep a Positive Mindframe

5.       Remember Past Successes when you get down and doubtful.

6.       Take time for complete silence aka meditation.

7.       Block out Media Scare tactics

8.       Think of new ways to execute

9.       Do not pile too much on yourself

MOST IMPORTANTLY STOP WISHING/PRAYING (GOD helps those who help themselves) AND MAKE IT HAPPEN

“We chasing money like hide & seek, anything we find we keep, on the road to riches, making bold decisions, gotta choose a choice and I chose to get it…at times it feels impossible, but I’m Tom Cruise, I’m on a mission.”  -Q.B.

***Always remember the point of grinding is to come home with more money than you started with…

 

 

TWITTER: @abeezy17

 

YOLO Global

One Try.

"Now she want a photo, but you already know though, you only live once, that’s the motto, nigga YOLO…”

            What inspired this blog was the fact that I was wondering, “When the hell is that joint mixtape from Drake and Rick Ross dropping?” Then I was like do the people who follow pop culture and are sheep know the real meaning of YOLO?  We all know it means You Only Live Once, but let’s take a look at some scenarios of YOLO misused shall we?

            You shouldn’t use YOLO if you tryna decide between copping a pair of Retro J’s or paying your light bill. I mean think about it do you really wanna be sitting in the dark with some phresh kicks on? Oh my bad you got a couple of burfday candles, one “lady and the tramp” stick candle, and three glade joints, YOLO!!! Nigga’s, having romantic lit rooms when the fam or his boys fall through…f*ck outta here! Tryna save face only inviting the bad bitch you attracted with ya new J’s over in the day time. “Um…why ain’t my phone charging?” “Awww girl, you know my outlets be trippin’, YOLO”

            Now you’re asking ya self, “I need another situation where YOLO is used incorrectly.” I got you, fam.

            Have you ever used YOLO as an excuse to do hoodrat stuff with your friends, like the YOLO ambassador Latarian Milton? You know the lil chubby 7 year old kid that took his people’s SUV out for a spin and then a few weeks later whooped his G-Ma in the Walmart deli cause she wouldn’t get him some yard bird, YOLO. So before you sit around on some Dead Presidents plotting type sh*t on how to knock over ya local credit union, think about ya leather cheerios’ virginity. No one likes rape and that’s what happens in prison…rape, Tom Dubois was right. And you doing a 15 year bid screaming YOLO in the showers and screaming YOLO while you share ya commissary cookie with resident He-She named Twan. “I had to what I had to do to survive, my nigga, YOLO!!!” I mean ask ya self, “Would I rather be judged by 12 or carried by six?” If ya answer involved any variation of YOLO è“Shit, nigga, I’m down for anything!” “LEGGO!” and the big one, “NIGGA, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK, LETS DO IT!!!” There’s no hope for you, fam, bruh, dawg. Don’t use YOLO as an excuse for criminal activity.

            YOLO is bad for ya health if used in the wrong context, besides rape and death by lethal injection or jail shanking…there’s ya sexual health. YOLO can’t be an excuse for you not buying condoms and being out here dicking down Keisha with the phat ass and collection of Jordan heels. “Shit, this 12 pack of Magnums the same price of a value meal at BK…Im hungry, YOLO.” Now ya belly full and Keisha got ya dick full of blisters. The gift that keeps on giving, not love, but herpes. Nas warned you about “*** with the Iverson jersey ***** **** with herpes”, but y’all weren’t listening, YOLO.

            Ladies, YOLO isn’t an excuse for you to run through lil crip crip and his crew…AT THE SAME DAMN TIME (turn the pitch correction on I need to sound like Future)! You got a dick in ya puss, one in ya mouth and both of ya hands cupping balls AT THE SAME DAMN TIME! Why? Cause lil crip crip had that new peach ciroc and was rocking some retro J’s, but ya phone couldn’t charge (see what I did there?), so you couldn’t call ya homegirl to talk you outta the crip crip fuck fest. So the only thing popped in ya head was, “You only live once that’s the motto, nigga, YOLO!” thanks to you only listening to Power 106.9 who plays The Motto 12 times every hour.  I know some ladies have that fantasy of taking on multiple men and being pleasured for hours by them, but here’s the kicker: none of them niggas in lil crip crip crew believe in rubbers, they’d rather spend that magnum money on BK. So luckily you didn’t contract on STD, but now you on Maury testing four niggas for the paternity of your K.I.D. YOLO. Lil crip crip ain’t paying for no kids, boo thang.

            You only live once means to seize your life. A lot of the times we live for other people. Think about this: there are a lot of people in the grave who spent their whole life working for someone else’s dream (peep the mission statement next time you clock in at work) instead of chasing their own. Now I’m not telling you to quit ya job just because you’re not your own boss. You need to earn a living but make that money work for you. Let that money fuel your dream, no matter how outlandish ya dream may be go after it. Channel your inner child and use that childlike belief to your advantage so that you will never lose sight of your dream.  You’re never too old to be what you were meant to be. YOLO. That’s the fucking motto.

Editor’s note: I “*” Ike cause that’s the name of my brother from another, he need to ride on Nas for that disrespectful line or sue for defamation of character. And I “*” light skin due to my allegiance to the “Yella Nigga Coalition” we don’t slander our own, word to my freckles.

Follow me on twitter: @abeezy17, hash-tag search: #BlackOmaha…if you’re black and live in/from Omaha start hash-tagging ya tweets with #BlackOmaha, to let the twitterverse know that we exist!!! Salute with the right never with the left when you see me! Let’s not disrespect the servicemen and servicewomen. Salute!